[Intro]

Guess who? Do you miss me?

Jessica Simpson: sing the chorus

[Chorus]

When you walked through the door

It was clear to me

You're the one they adore

Who they came to see

You're a rock star

Everybody wants you, player

Who can really blame you?

We're the ones who made you

[Verse 1]

Ahem, back by popular demand

Now pop a little Zantac for antacid if you can

You're ready to tackle any task that is at hand

How does it feel? Is it fantastic? Is it grand?

Well, look at all the massive masses in the stands

"Shady man, no, don't massacre the fans!"

Damn, I think Kim Kardashian's a man

She stomped him just cause he asked to put his hands

On her massive gluteus maximus again

Squeeze it and squish it and pass it to a friend

Can he come back as nasty as he can?

Yes he can-can: don't ask me this again

He does not mean to lesbians offend

But Lindsay: please come back to seeing men

Samantha's a 2; you're practically a 10

I know you want me, girl; in fact, I see you grin

Now come in, girl

[Chorus]

When you walked through the door

It was clear to me

You're the one they adore

Who they came to see

You're a rock star

Everybody wants you, player

Who can really blame you?

We're the ones who made you

[Verse 2]

The enforcer, looking for more women to torture

Walk up to the cutest girl and Charlie-horse her

Sorry Portia, but what's Ellen DeGeneres

Have that I don't? Are you telling me tenderness?

Well, I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman

Give me my Ventolin inhaler, and 2 Xenadrine

And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then

Nail her, baby: "say hello to my little friend"

Brit: forget K-Fed, let's cut off the middleman

Forget him or you're gonna end up in the hospital again

And this time it won't be for the Ritalin binge

Forget them other men, girl, pay them little attention

And little did I mention that Jennifer's in

Love with me, John Mayer, so sit on the bench

Man, I swear them other guys, you give em an inch

They take a mile, they got style, but it isn't Slim

[Chorus]

When you walked through the door

It was clear to me

You're the one they adore

Who they came to see

You're a rock star

Everybody wants you, player

Who can really blame you?

We're the ones who made you

[Bridge]

And that's why, my love, you'll never live without

I know you want me girl cause I can see you're checking me out

And baby, you know, you know you want me too

Don't try to deny it baby, I'm the only one for you (*fart*)

[Verse 3]

Damn girl, I'm beginning to sprout an Alfalfa

Why should I wash my filthy mouth out?

You think that's bad you should hear the rest of my album

Never has there been such finesse and nostalgia

Man Cash, I don't mean to mess with your gal but

Jessica Alba put her breasts on my mouth (blup!)

Wowzers! I just made a mess in my trousers

And they wonder why I keep dressing like Elvis

"Lord help us, he's back in his pink Alf shirt

Looking like someone shrinked his outfit!"

I think he's 'bout to flip, Jessica

Rest assured Superman's here to rescue ya

Can you blame me? You're my Amy, I'm your Blake

Matter fact, bake me a birthday cake

With a saw blade in it to make my jailbreak

Baby, I think you just met your soulmate

Now break it down, girl

[Chorus]

When you walked through the door

It was clear to me

You're the one they adore

Who they came to see

You're a rock star

Everybody wants you, player

Who can really blame you?

We're the ones who made you

[Outro]

Amy! Rehab never looked so good!

I can't wait, I'm going back

Ha ha, woo! Dr. Dre! 2020!