[Eminem:]

Ayo, this next song, is a true story (Come here, bitch!)

[Intro:]

Cause some things in this universe

Don't make sense but somehow (Always seem to fuckin' work)

[Verse 1: Eminem]

Flying down I-75 'bout to hop on 696

I look over this fucking chick's tryna fix her makeup

I'm like bitch, you ain't a plastic surgeon

I advise ya to put up your visor, I'm getting kinda ticked

You're blocking my side mirror, she's like yeah, so? I'm like so?

You gon' need a stitch you keep actin' like that, ho

I look like your husband slut? That's a rhetorical question

You talk to me like you talk to him, I'll fuck you up

In fact, get in the backseat, like the rest of my dates

No bitch rides shotgun, what taxi?

Stop and pick you some Maxi Pads up is that what you actually ask me?

Bitch reaches over and smacks me

And says I annoy the fuck outta her, get in the fucking back

Put on your slut powder, you slut, what? Shut the fuck up now

Or get your feelings hurt, worse than my last chick when

I accidentally butt dialed her and she heard me spreading AIDS rumors about her

Turn the radio up louder, make it thump

While I bump that Relapse CD, tryna hit every bump in that cunt

Thought I snap back in that accent cause she kept asking me

To quit callin' her cunt, I said that I cunt! she said, Marshall

[Hook: Eminem]

You ain't really like that, oh-oh-oh

You're putting on a show, where's your mic at?

Cause you're breaking my heart

She said you're breaking my heart

[Verse 2: Royce Da 5'9"]

Uh, pull up to the club in a Porsche, not a Pinto

While Marshall's at a white trash party, I'm at drama central

I walk up in there looking at my phone, on Twitter tweetin'

I'm feelin' a bunch of bitches lookin' at a nigga, cheesin'

I get approached by this little skeeser

She asked me am I the realest G, cause I'm Gucci from head to feet

I said, yeah, I'm really is cause I spit in your man's face

Like Cam did that little kid on Killing Season

She said I'm feeling your big ego, wait, am I talking wrong?

I said nah, I'm a walking Kanye/Beyonce song

She said I'm mad at you, I said why?

She said why you never make songs for chicks as if it's hard to do?

I said I make songs for me, leave the studio

And go and fuck the bitch who belongs to who makin' songs for you

She said I'm feelin' your whole swagger and flow, can we hook up?

I said, umm, you just used the word swagger, so no, she said

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Eminem]

We been ridin' around in this hatchback 'til I'm fucking hunchback

Where the fuck's this party at slutbag cunt? Cut what act?

Think it's an act? Fuck that, I'm tryna shag scuz

Better find this love shack or somewhere to fuck at, ah, don't touch that

You fat dyke, I'm tryna hear some Bagpipes from Baghdad

Don't act like you don't like 'em, them accents, I rap tight

And I'm a torture 'til we find this place, yeah that's right

Thought it was just past this light, just past Van Dyke

Better hit that map light, read them directions, oh yeah

You can't read and you can't write, told me that last night

She took my CD out the deck, snapped in half like

Relapse sucked, I snapped, hit the gas like

Blew through the light, spun out, hit a patch of black ice

Forgot we had a trailer hitched to the back, we jackknifed

Bitch flew out of the car, I laughed like, she deserved it

She didn't think I'd act like that in person

(Royce, Marshall just crashed right in front of the club!)

[Verse 4: Royce Da 5'9"]

Tell him I'll be there in a minute

I'm tryna break up this cat fight between my mistress and damn wife

Then a chick wanted a hug, she was phat

So I gave her dat then I tell her to scat, I'm not mean, I'm cute

On my way to the front door, taking the scenic route

To avoid this chick with a lace front lookin' like Venus and Serena's hooves

I'm just sayin', those chicks got horse asses, they been attractive

Hope when they see me they don't slap me with they tennis rackets

My mind drifted, back to this shit

I seen my wife, push her down, step over her body and smack the mistress

Police outside, I turn and pass the gat to Vishis

Then I step out and see my evil twin, he gives me evil grin

He mugs the mistress, turns around and gives the misses hugs and kisses

Looks at me twisted, like Nickel "Yeah, watch this shit"

He smacks the dentures outta the mouth of the fat bitch he rode with

And Looks back to mention, "Royce, it's good to be back to business"

[Hook]